Take On Too Much Disorder: Time to Relax

Take On Too Much Disorder: Time to Relax

One of my favorite pastimes is perusing WebMD for a new illness or disorder I didn’t know I had. Other than comparing each and every mole on my body to their cancerous photo gallery, my next favorite use of WebMD is trying to decipher what is wrong with my brain. This week, I have concluded that while I show a lot of Bipolar or Generalized Anxiety Disorder tendencies, I truly am in a land of my own. I have Take…

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Weird Shit Women Do When Trying to Lose Weight

Weird Shit Women Do When Trying to Lose Weight

I spent a good chunk of my pubescent years in Weight Watchers meetings. I can remember listening to blue-haired biddies’ latest shish kabob recipes while I scribbled notes on Lisa Frank notebooks hoping the mere act of writing would burn off some of the Coke I drank that day. I can remember, as a middle schooler, laying spread eagle on our dining room floor telling my mom I felt faint. She (seriously) told me it was because I ate some…

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7 Ways My Four Kids Made Me a Hermit

7 Ways My Four Kids Made Me a Hermit

I have always been an extrovert. Before four kids, I would rarely spend a night home at my apartment. I was constantly out with friends or at Barnes and Noble surrounded by people. Sitting on the couch alone made me itchy. When I had one kid, it made it a bit more difficult to go out of the house and do things but it was barely a speed bump in my social game. I still zipped around with my son…

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5 Reasons Why Chubby Girls Need Chubby Friends

5 Reasons Why Chubby Girls Need Chubby Friends

Hear me out. Years ago, I used to Hate (Yes, with a capital “H” because I mean business) when other overweight women would fat pride me. Especially women I am not friends with. Like, the woman working the dressing room of Target who was telling a waif of a woman how gorgeous she looked in her skinny jeans and then elbowed me saying, “Too bad we can’t wear stuff like that, amirite?” My face burned with the fire of a thousand…

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Extreme Non-Couponer: How I Suck at Clipping and Still Earn $

Extreme Non-Couponer: How I Suck at Clipping and Still Earn $

*Disclaimer- This post contains affiliate links. Read all about that boring crap, here. When the show Extreme Couponing hit the air, my addictive personality was lit ablaze. I raced to Wal-Mart, spent $150 on a binder, those plastic baseball card inserts, dividers, ink, printer, purse coupon holder, and every single Sunday paper they had on their racks. I was desperate to save my family a gazillion dollars buying out the local pharmacy of all it’s health and beauty items. I…

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Sweaty Jiggles: Why I Hate the Gym

Sweaty Jiggles: Why I Hate the Gym

There is a certain charm to the gym. Like the free childcare. That’s charming. However, when you have four kids and two get carted around in 25 pound car seats, just getting them into the free childcare is more than a workout. Other than that, I hate the gym. Normally, I just go for yoga or Pilates. Those classes are all right, but if I hate it and want to leave, I can’t stand the burning humiliation of: rolling up…

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The Hot Mess Mom’s Guide to Baby Registries

The Hot Mess Mom’s Guide to Baby Registries

Disclaimer: NO this is not a sponsored post. Meaning, none of these companies have paid me to recommend their products. YES, I have included affiliate links (read more about those here). Enjoy! I have four kids. I get asked a lot about what I recommend for baby products. Let me just say, whew, babies are no joke. Like, for real. As a parent, I would sell internal organs at some points to soothe their screeches and make life at least…

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Why My Kids’ Chores Don’t Make Me Lazy

Why My Kids’ Chores Don’t Make Me Lazy

Let me start by saying I can be a lazy mom. If you haven’t gathered that by now, I think you might need to seek some counsel. Either way, I was laying on the sofa this week, eating Bon Bons and watching my shows (you know, just like all of us lazy moms) and read this article about a mom chastised for showing pictures of her kids doing chores. Sanctimommies lit their torches and charged the gates on this woman’s child-rearing techniques….

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Gettin’ that Worm: The Life of an Early Bedtime Mom

Gettin’ that Worm: The Life of an Early Bedtime Mom

It’s 6:25 pm. All four of my kids are asleep. This is how it has been most nights since my twins were born. Hell, this is how my life has been for as long as I can remember. In high school, my best friend was a night owl. As soon as it got dark, she would want to eat fudge, watch scary movies and carry on until dawn. I barely made it past dusk and fell asleep with a chocolate…

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Out with the Old: How I Trained Myself to Get Healthy

Out with the Old: How I Trained Myself to Get Healthy

Having recently lost just shy of 100 pounds, I get added to quite a few weight loss groups. I also get asked a lot of questions. What’s your secret? What do you eat? Is it hard? I don’t want to feel like I am on a diet. Do you feel like you’re on a diet? I feel like a bit of a disappointment that I am not Richard Simmons-ing across their computer screens screaming, “You can do it! Put that…

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