For the Love of Food: My Life as a Binger

For the Love of Food: My Life as a Binger

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I have a LOT of issues when it comes to food. Yes, I recently lost 100 pounds, but those issues are still on my sleeve like a badge of honor. Binge eating or binging is probably my most tried and true food problem. We have been lovers since as long as I can remember. Our relationship blossomed during puberty and the love waxed and waned since then.

I can remember hiding dozens of empty boxes of my Girl Scout cookies behind my dresser before I even hit puberty. I remember always eating way more than any of my friends and pretending it didn’t matter. I ate and ate and ate and ate and never once looked back. I have tried to cut it off with my binging issues, but then I run and leap back into it’s arms and off into the sunset.

Here are the ways I am currently working to deal with this monster of an issue in my life:

  1. READ. THIS. BOOK. I am not kidding. Read Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. I have said this a million times, but can’t say it enough. This book moved my soul. I cried so hard and it was such a bitch slap of truth serum it took me months to finally finish it. Actually, I’m going to start it again.
  2. Accept it. Binging is something I can’t avoid. I feel this itch and burn deep down in my gut of desire that cannot be avoided. The longer I push it off, the worse it becomes. There are times when I can retrain myself, but sometimes I just need to eat a big shitty meal to avoid eating an entire Chinese buffet in one sitting.
  3. Move on. This is the hardest part. With the binge eating comes deep, painful regret. This regret spurs the desire to binge day after day after day. Don’t do it. Let it go. You ate a lot of food. Today is a new day. Let’s move forward. You are not a terrible person. No one weighs 600 pounds because once a month they ate half a tater tot casserole. This was the single best seed of advice I have given myself. I always thought once I fell off the healthy wagon I was a failure and beat myself up for weeks until I gained back all the weight I had lost. No, I’m not a failure. I’m a fucking human being and this is just something I do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  4. Try to set binge days. For me, if I know a holiday or special event is coming up, I know I’m going to eat good food in large quantities. So, for the days/weeks leading up to it, I can focus on that goal. I can stave off the desire because of that dangling carrot. Then, when the event is over, it’s back to eating healthy.
  5. Find people like you. When I was younger, all my friends and family were petite, athletic and ate grilled chicken and were happy about it. This made me feel like fatty, fatty two-by-four every time we ate together because I couldn’t understand why I wanted a footlong sub and they never finished a six-inch. Now, I have a group on Facebook with other women with the same struggles that I have. We vent to each other about our hate of the scale and love of all things bad for us. However, it’s more than that. It’s a place to feel like you’re not alone. That god-sized hole in your gut you’re trying to fill isn’t just something you struggle with. There are other women and men out there fighting the same battles. Find them. Talk to them. Build each other up and watch each other succeed. There’s no greater feeling than overcoming your demons.

What’s worked for you? What other struggles do you have when it comes to food? Leave me a message in the comments!

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4 thoughts on “For the Love of Food: My Life as a Binger

  1. The issues don’t go away with weight loss, that’s for sure. We still have to work our way through them. I don’t deal with binging, on a regular basis anyway, but I do deal with emotional eating really bad and it has not gone away even with the weight I’ve lost. Planning ahead for days you know will be tough or where you’ll eat more than usual is very helpful. Accepting what was done and moving forward no matter what is the biggest thing that has helped me. Dwelling on it and beating ourselves up is not going to help. And thanks for the book tip, I need to check that one out!

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