While most of you are lamenting the year 2016, no fear! This is the last day! So, what will we do with this gift of the new year?
I know most moms are like me and asleep before the New Year’s Eve countdown even begins. That doesn’t mean that we can’t resolve to do some new things next year. I know most moms have weight loss and wild-eyed attempts at giving up our slew of addictions, let’s try and be realistic. Those pre-baby skinny jeans might just be a pipe dream, but here are a few of my realistic resolutions you might want to try on for size.
- Take time to scream. You know how motherhood can sometimes bubble over into a rage fueled screech-off in the YMCA parking lot? No? Either way, let’s try to take time to ourselves to scream into a stuffed animal while we get our 5 minutes to poop each day. Not only will we be scarring our children less, we also might avoid a pesky call from CPS.
- Eat real food. Now, this might be a stretch, but I need to eat actual meals. Ones that’s main source of protein doesn’t come from a beef stick. Now that my twins are a smidge less needy, I’m going to resolve to at least order foods that don’t have cartoon cowboys on their labels.
- Less Pinterest. Not because I have an addiction, no, because Pinterest makes me feel like an epic failure of a mother. It also gives me insatiable hunger that leaves me sleeping in a pile of Oreo crumbs. Also, it will save me tons of money from those wasted ingredients I buy and leave in my fridge while I eat jerky.
- Have people over. Maybe 2018 will be the year I leave the house more, but 2017 needs human interaction too. I need to accept the fact that my house is an absolute shit hole and have other messy moms over to snuggle my exploding laundry baskets and drink coffee. I love friends. I need friends. SOMEONE BE MY FRIEND!
- Stop picking at my husband. When you have no friends and sit with kids all day, something needs to be your rage outlet. I need to stop making that be my husband. The poor guy literally flinched when I reached in the cupboard the other day in fear I was going to sucker punch him. Again, maybe having other women to vent to about his inability to clean a toilet will take a little bit of the strain off him. Maybe…
- Do things that make me happy. I adapted this life rule towards the end of 2016 and it was the best decision I have ever made. I am no longer going to beat myself up over things that don’t matter. I am going to write because I love it. I’m going to watch movies with my kids because it makes me happy. I’m not going to wear bras most days because, duh. Happiness is something I need to function as a mother and wife. I’m sick of feeling like I am last on the list of things that need attention. I can’t pour from an empty cup.
So, here’s to the New Year. May your meltdowns be few, your bellies be full and your husbands be less afraid of you. Not completely unafraid, we have reputations to uphold, ladies.
What’s your plans for 2017? Let me know in the comments!
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