Hear me out.
Years ago, I used to Hate (Yes, with a capital “H” because I mean business) when other overweight women would fat pride me. Especially women I am not friends with. Like, the woman working the dressing room of Target who was telling a waif of a woman how gorgeous she looked in her skinny jeans and then elbowed me saying, “Too bad we can’t wear stuff like that, amirite?”
My face burned with the fire of a thousand suns and I dumped my pile of skinny jeans on some detergent and left.
Before my body acceptance, I surrounded myself with thin women. I was the token fat friend. I took the role of the last one guys wanted to talk to and always shopped for purses at the mall because any stores we went to didn’t have my size.
Then, throughout my 20’s I met many amazing, curvy women. Let me tell you, these have been the best friendships. Here’s why:
- They get it. Want to binge? Want to lose weight? Want to cry into your fat jeans because they don’t fit anymore and you don’t want to buy even fatter jeans? Call them. Talk to them. They’ve been there.
- Your weight isn’t a dirty little secret. Before finding fellow chubbies like myself, I would have hung myself with my granny panties before telling a single, solitary soul how much I weighed. I lied so hard on my driver’s license it was laughable. Now? We can discuss our ups and downs. I actually just had a friend tell me that she started eating healthier and she couldn’t wait to weigh as much as me. AS ME! ME! What?! For once, I wasn’t being referred to as the “before” picture and someone actually liked my body better than their own! It’s like I have found Narnia.
- You motivate each other. I have never found more motivation than when I have other people striving along side me. Losing weight is like carrying a mule on your back through the desert. I’m not talking about losing holiday weight before you can fit into your size twos. I’m talking about weight that takes months and years to disappear. When you see someone right alongside you doing it, there’s no better feeling. You’re not only proud of yourself, you’re just as excited for them.
- You can swap clothes. This might be my favorite part. Fat clothes are swapped faster than STDs at Burning Man. What hangs off me, can be someone’s new skinny clothes and vice versa. I have an entire wardrobe filled with someone’s discarded fat clothes and while that might seem like a blow, it makes me happy for my friends who accomplished so much. It reminds me that it can be done.
- You can tell them your dirtiest of secrets. Remember that time you hid in your car and went from fast McDonalds to Burger King juggling Big Macs with cheesecake and loving every sickening second of it? Or talking about how your FUPA no longer hides your vagina? They are there for you. They’ve done dirtier. They’ve seen it all. They’ve sobbed over their bodies and struggled to find the beauty in it.
- They see your beauty. That’s the thing, that’s why they are so special. They strive to be like you and you strive to be like them. You are not their weight nightmare. Those days when you feel disgusting, they are there to tell you how much they envy you. Then you gag back sobs about how much you envy them. It’s friendship that cannot be duplicated. Treasure each other. You deserve it.
What do you love about your chubby friends? Leave me a message in the comments!
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