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Take On Too Much Disorder: Time to Relax

Take On Too Much Disorder: Time to Relax

One of my favorite pastimes is perusing WebMD for a new illness or disorder I didn’t know I had. Other than comparing each and every mole on my body to their cancerous photo gallery, my next favorite use of WebMD is trying to decipher what is wrong with my brain.

This week, I have concluded that while I show a lot of Bipolar or Generalized Anxiety Disorder tendencies, I truly am in a land of my own. I have Take On Too Much Disorder or TOTMD.

What are the symptoms of such a specific disease, you ask? Let me tell you.

  1. Never say no. Want to come to my Tupperware party? Of course! Join the PTA? Yep! Get another dog? I suppose I could handle that. Have more kids? Okay, I said “disorder” not “full-fledged insanity.”
  2. Do more than expected. I have this sick desire to constantly go above and beyond. School requires 10 hours of volunteering, you bet your ass I want to do 20. Plan to write three times a week. Better make that six and never sleep again. Want to start exercising? Better be ready for a marathon by spring or does it even count?
  3. Start endless “ideas.” This week, I learned about “Snackleboxes” which are tackleboxes to put healthy snacks in for the day that your kids can help themselves to. Well, I bought mine Bento boxes, filled one and it still has snacks in it from Wednesday. Our fridge has our family calendar on it from October, the one and only month I did a family calendar. Or the toybox I bought a year ago for my new minimalist lifestyle that is still in the box. Or the book club I joined because I was determined to read classic novels and I am one page into Jane Eyre and not sure I can go back…
  4. Spiral. I have been told I do too much every single month of my life. I constantly brush it off like I don’t know inevitably it all ends in my unshowered, eating Pillsbury dough dipped in Nutella and crying. There’s always a spiral.
  5.  Make rash decisions. For instance, I started getting nervous this week that I was bored in my weight loss routine and starting to gain weight. So, I decided to double down and bet $100 on DietBet that I could lose 4% of my body weight in four weeks. Obviously, completely necessary.

Let’s just say, the last couple of weeks have been a TOTMD spiral around here. Some of my spinning wheels cogged the machine and it all fell to shit. Mix that with a super bug that took out all four kids and I am barely alive.
So, I am going to continue to write because it soothes my crazies, but maybe, just maybe, I can ease the throttle around here for a hot second.

What crazy things do you do as a parent? Let me know in the comments!

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7 Ways My Four Kids Made Me a Hermit

7 Ways My Four Kids Made Me a Hermit

I have always been an extrovert. Before four kids, I would rarely spend a night home at my apartment. I was constantly out with friends or at Barnes and Noble surrounded by people. Sitting on the couch alone made me itchy.

When I had one kid, it made it a bit more difficult to go out of the house and do things but it was barely a speed bump in my social game. I still zipped around with my son in tow to restaurants and activities without skipping a beat.

Two kids in, a little bit more work but still could go to the store or visit family with a little preparation and well-timed naps.

Then I had twins.

Game changer.

My son was home for Christmas break last month. When I brought him back to school, I realized that was his first time leaving the house that entire week. What? That couldn’t be possible. I racked my brain through the holiday parties, grocery store runs and daily activities. Nope. He never left.

I have worked the past few weeks to at least take my two oldest out alone more often, but here’s the problem with pushing through that hermit-like state:

  1. Amazon Prime – I am convinced Amazon Prime has created an entire generation of hermits like myself. If you can live off non-perishable food items, there’s no reason to leave your home. As long as I have two days of supplies, there’s nothing I can’t get right to my front door. Just opening the door to snatch it off my porch is enough work.
  2. Midwestern weather – We are in the throws of winter, here in the Midwest. It’s below zero on a daily basis. The process of packing kids in snow gear, warming up the minivan, icing the drive, not falling and cracking someone’s skull open and driving with white knuckles through the streets requires some serious motivation.
  3. No two-seat grocery carts – My twins are on the cusp of being able to sit up on their own and sit in a grocery cart seat. HOWEVER, how does one do that with two babies? Am I supposed to flop one baby on top of my pork chops and hope a can of beans doesn’t pelt her in the head? If the store doesn’t have a two-seater grocery cart, I can’t go. I mean, I could go and have a four-year old and three-year old walk, push a double stroller and drag a cart behind but I’ve already had enough nervous breakdowns this week. We can just Prime some mac and cheese.
  4. Nap times – My day is a constant carousel of nap times. I am forever putting one down, getting one up and prepping the next one for bedtime. IF I do leave the house, it can be for maybe an hour if the babies can’t sleep in their car seats.
  5. Disease – Sending my son to preschool is like sending him to lick the handrails in Grand Central Station. There are sickness grenades being brought into our house on every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. If I can make it through the week without being barfed on, I am praising all the things. Why would I up my chances of puke buckets by heading into the grocery store, or worse the public library?
  6. Ample prep time – Mixing four kids with my anxiety means I need at least a week to mentally prepare for an outing. I can’t be pounced on. Asking to go to swimming classes tomorrow will send me in a tailspin of planning that will end in me feigning illness and eating a cheesecake. It’s just not possible.
  7. Family time – Truly, I really love our little family unit. I love these memories we are all making in our little cocoon of six. We may all get sick of the sight of each other and need time in our beds with Netflix from time to time, but my kids are learning their undying love for each other. It’s us against the world and for a little more precious time the pain in the ass of leaving the house is growing our bond in immeasurable amounts.

Do you have a large family? How do you wrangle them all? Tell me about it in the comments!

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Too Much Stress: Mama Said There’d be Days Like This…

Too Much Stress: Mama Said There’d be Days Like This…

Some days, I’ve got too much stress.


School is cancelled this morning.

I already stress ate a dozen sugar cookies and it isn’t even 8 am.

Send help.


My husband has been working overtime. This means, as a work-at-home mom, I am working overtime. I don’t see him and with the amount of exertion it takes to get four kids out of the house, most days I don’t see anyone above the age of four either.

Some days it’s glorious. I don’t even look in the mirror. I take care of my home, laugh with my kids and get teary-eyed when they learn something new.

Today is not one of those days.

As a mother of six-month old teething twins, I don’t sleep. You might notice blogs posted at 2 am because I have been up every 4 minutes and 30 seconds since 9 pm and thrown in the towel on rest. Some mornings I am already up drinking coffee at 3 am.  This was my sleep pattern last night:

sleep patter teething babies mrs momy mack

Let’s just say this creates a hostile home environment and too much stress.

When the amount of sleep you get in a day is the mere total of blinks in 24 hours and then you have four children demanding all the things, you get a little terse. Right now, I am hiding in my room and just having the cat rub on my body looking for attention is sending me into a blind rage. I can hear my kids begging my husband for milks, shows, pens, artillery and I can feel him inching towards the door, afraid to bother me but more afraid of the demands of these four terrorists.

So far, today, I have experienced:

  1. Three broken Christmas bulbs.
  2. One broken coffee mug (at which point I believe my three year old learned the term “cocksucker.”)
  3. Uncorking constipation in two babies.
  4. Being shit on twice.
  5. PMS
  6. Realizing since I quit breastfeeding I have lost three cup sizes.
  7. Cried in memorial of my breasts.
  8. No tampons. Had to dig out giant pads from last labor and delivery stay.
  9. Kids decided the dog needed a Christmas list, so now I have to squeeze in another shopping trip this week.
  10. Forgot to hide that fucking elf.
  11. Dog peed on my diaper bag. Probably pissed I didn’t already have him considered in my Christmas shopping.

Did I mention it’s 8 mother-fucking am?!

All I want to do is hide in a dark movie theater and fall asleep with warm nacho cheese dripping off my chin.

Instead, I have to go back in there and start the day or restart the day since it hasn’t even officially begun yet.

Oh, just take a day to yourself, you martyr, you’re thinking.

Yeah? And then what? Did a fairy come in and wash my laundry/dishes/kids while I was gone? No? Sweet. Now I have three times as much work when I get back.

It’s a vicious cycle.

So, like all moms, I must sit here, scream a menagerie of curse words into my pillow, Google “cleansing breaths,” try a couple and head back in there. I might not have a smile on my face quite yet, but I am ready as I’ll ever be.

These are the days we wish to get back, right?



Comment below with your worst parenting days to make me feel better!

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A Tale of Parenting with Too Much Stress |

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